12 posts tagged “better”

Or it is success?!?  Either way you look at it, I'm on Phenergan again...  I was hoping that I would not need to be medicated this time around...  That I would be able to simply enjoy the state of incubation...  To have not a care and to daydream about Boogie holding hands and cuddling up with the baby during all of my free time (HA!  what is that, anyway?)...  But, alas, it was not meant to be...  This weekend, though, I went through an amazing tailspin...  I ended up white as a sheet, barely-more-than-horizontal, and daydreaming about the ability to nibble on some tasty grapes without feeling like I was only biding my time until I took up my worship of the porcelain goddess once again...  Instead of being stupid and torturing myself, I decided to call the doctor's office before things got completely out of control...  After my first pregnancy, during which I tried to wean myself off of the Phenergan way too many times, I got pretty good at recognizing the systematic return to a state of full-on hyperemesis...  I figured that reaching the point of being couch-ridden, pale as a sheet, and ready to puke, meant "it was time"...  Immediately after receiving confirmation that my prescription was being called in to the pharmacy, my body decided to celebrate by taking me all the way to the next level...  Yay!  (And, no, I do not really think puking is at all fun)...  I am so thankful that I live in a time and a place where I am able to get a prescription to help my body retain food and water so that I can nourish my unborn child...  As much as my mom and sister like to harp on me about how "lucky" I am to have the choice of taking this prescription, and try to make me feel guilty that they had to put up with their morning sickness all nine months, I am thankful that they never had to experience the extreme sickness that is hyperemesis...  I try to be as polite as possible, to recognize that I am very thankful for the medical professionals from whom I receive my medication, and to move on before I slap them for thinking their doctor would not help them if they had it even close to as bad as me...  I am also thankful that my husband is supportive enough to encourage me to take this medication instead of being like some guys who think I am just wimping out where other women have proven themselves more capable...  Yeah...  As the eloquently-spoken Rachel Green once said, "No uterus, no opinion!"  Later days...  

People have backed off and given apologies, and I have also come up for air long enough to lose a little of the edge of hysteria...  Thanks to the people who talked me down, gave me hugs, and offered their services as hired thugs!  Teeheehee...  While I can, logically, understand that people were just trying to be silly, logic does not necessarily calm a frightened pregnant woman when she is being teased from every freakin' angle...  What I need right now is for people to help me through rough patches -- not to create new ones!  After the ultrasound on July 1st, I will know whether or not to freak out -- and I am sure y'all will hear about it one way or another on this blog...  So far, though, my beta hCG levels have "risen appropriately," and I am just holding on to that good news...  One day at a time...  (just like an alcoholic)...  Later days...

Is such an awesome drug...  I can't imagine living in a time when antibiotics were not a possibility...  I have strep throat so bad that I could hardly swallow my own spit this morning, and yet a first dose of antibiotic and some sleep has given my body enough of a boost that I don't feel like I am trying to swallow gravel anymore...  It was funny to see the look on the doctor's face when he looked into my throat this morning...  He said, "Well, that sure sounds like it hurts!"  Umm...  Ok...  Whatever...  Just give me the prescription and let me start getting better!  It was tough waiting for the pharmacy to open, but I managed to distract myself by spending the gift certificate from my library peeps (it came with the plants when I was out for the surgery)...  I know this makes me a total geek, but I think I am most excited about the fact that I got some cute new socks...  New socks = comfy, so I guess it makes sense...  But, still...  It's unnatural!  Teeheehee...  Later days...

So, I have been feeling rather meh lately, and I can't even put my finger on exactly what's wrong...  My best guess is that I am working two weekends in a row and even my days off don't seem like days off...  That's enough to make anybody a little meh, right?!?  But, today seems to be a little better than yesterday...  Maybe it is the fact that tomorrow is the last time I have to work on a weekend day until April...  Maybe it's the fact that we had people over to watch movies last night and, although I am tired from staying up late, I had an awesome time hanging out with people...  Whatever it is, I am certainly ok with it!  Better get going on one of the fifty projects I hope to get done this weekend...  Later days!

Oh my goodness...  Yesterday, I went over to Keltia's because she was having a really rough morning and Boogie was acting 100% normal...  After lunch, though, it was my turn to suffer...  All of the sudden, I felt terrible and even started vomiting...  I puked three times by the time my MIL stopped by to bring Boogie and me home (luckily, she works just down the road from Keltia's and was nice enough to do that for us)...  In the time that Clark drove his mom back to get her car, I thought I was going to die...  I literally drank a sippy cup of Pedialyte to try and make myself better, but it didn't work too well...  Then, because I am an idiot, I actually took my Prozac last night...  The heartburn was the worst I have ever experienced, and it caused me to puke again...  This morning, Clark seemed to be ok already (he felt a little off yesterday and feared he was getting sick too), and Boogie was definitely fine again...  Since Clark was going to work, I insisted that he bring Boogie to daycare...  I got up long enough to help Boogie get dressed and eat breakfast, and then I went back to bed...  I only woke up about an hour and a half ago, and even then I still didn't get out of bed until about 20 minutes ago...  I was so dehydrated that I didn't even have to get up to pee -- and anyone who knows me knows that I pee constantly...  I'm eating a bowl of cereal, and then I am getting back into bed...  I am going to read, and I will nap if I feel so moved...  But I will not, under any circumstances, be leaving the house today...  I need to get back to work tomorrow, and there is no way in hell I will be able to do that if I get myself worn out again...  Later days...

It's funny to see the concrete ways that Prozac affects my life...  Boogie's toys aren't always picked up (because I don't spaz about it and can actually sleep at night knowing that there is a huge toy mess downstairs)...  There are dirty dishes in the sink overnight, sometimes...  Seeing a pile of dirty laundry doesn't make me feel like I am going to have a panic attack if I don't start a load of laundry right away...  And then, last night, I really shocked myself...  I forgot to post yesterday and didn't realize until about 10pm when Clark and I were watching a movie...  Rather than freaking out, pausing the movie, and running upstairs to post I said, "Well, I already broke the 'post a day' rule, so what's another time?"  Whoa!  I like this whole making my own decisions instead of being driven by my compulsions...  Doesn't mean that I don't still choose to do some of the things that have been ingrained in me from teh OCD, but at least I don't feel like I have to do them...  Later days...

I know it has only been 2 weeks that I have been on the Prozac, so I am not sure whether it is actually the drug or if it is just psychosomatic, but I feel like I am already so much better now than I was 2 weeks ago...  Take lunch this afternoon, for example: Boogie was trying to balance his milk on the side of his plate, and I told him to just set it on the table so that he would not spill it...  He didn't listen and, of course, the milk spilled all over the table/floor...  This would have resulted in me yelling/freaking out before, but I just kinda huffed and said, "See?  I told you it would spill." as I walked out to get something to clean it up...  I cleaned it up without yelling even once, and Boogie ended up finishing his lunch rather than melting down and crying...  It's almost hard to understand why I would have freaked out before, and it's the little things like this that make me glad I "caved" and saw my doctor...  Sure, I could find ways to manage my life without Prozac...  It just wouldn't be as fun or easy...  Later days...

So, here are the further details I promised...  My uncle got the procedure yesterday, and he made it through...  When they were clearing out his carotid artery, they found a few blood clots that could/would have caused devastating strokes had they dislodged -- and the doctors estimated that the clots were far enough through the blockage that they would have probably loosened up in the next week or two...  Talk about good timing and great doctors!  My uncle is in the hospital still (obviously!), and it "back to his old self" (i.e. bitching and moaning about how his mom cursed him to have heart disease)...  When my aunt called to give us the good news, she asked that I make a call to my great aunt -- to tell her that my uncle made it through...  Apparently, my great aunt is also making an effort to keep up a relationship with my uncle, so he now has two of us "back home" (although it really should be a hell of a lot more, but I digress)...  When I called to give her the message, we got to talking, and I ended up spending about 1 1/2 hours on the phone with her!  It was really nice to catch up with her, since I have only talked with her a few times (ever)...  She reminds me of my Gramma "Myrt" quite a bit, although she never really cared for Myrt (kinda ironic, I think), so it was almost like Gramma was still alive...  Bitter sweet...  But, yeah...  I'm thankful for everyone who added my uncle to their thoughts &/or prayers...  I'm sure it played a part...  Later days...

Thank goodness, Clark is doing much better already...  Unfortunately, it means that he is getting too brave already -- i.e. opening the broken garage door this morning instead of waiting for me to do it...  Grrr...  Anyhow, I am happy to report that he is heading back to work instead of being stuck flat on his back for another day...  Yay!  Later days...

I started out writing a reply to some comments on "fasting," but it was starting to get really long and detailed...  I decided to cut and paste it here (and then type some more) so everyone could follow the saga more easily...  Teeheehee...

The good news is that my doctor is awesome, and she didn't treat me like a hypochondriac!  She actually offered to send me for a sleep study, but I told her I would first try a few more lifestyle changes (i.e. exercise & yoga) and possibly use the sleeping pill samples (Rozerem) she gave me...  She also said that the tonsil thing is not likely to go away and just to keep clearing them out if they bother me -- but that removal of my tonsils was possibly an option if the sleep study showed that I had sleep apnea...  My left arm hurts from the tetanus shot, and my right arm has an itchy rash where they used the "wrong" kind of medical tape (I didn't realize what type she was using until it was too late, because I can't look when someone is drawing blood)... On Sunday, I begin taking Yaz to help with my PCOS symptoms...  Let's hope that works out well!  The big medical story of the day, though, had nothing to do with that doctor's office...  After my appointment at my GP, I remembered that I had a strange bill from my OB/GYN visit, so I called them...  You see, I already had a bill from the office which included lab tests...  Then, I just got a bill from Lab Corp...  I was figuring it was a mistake, but I was wrong...  The bill said "High Risk HPV," but I was all like, "I've only ever had one partner, so I can't be high risk, can I?"  Apparently, I was -- because I had "abnormal cells"
 in my pap smear...  My chart had a notation that I had been notified on July 20th...  Ummm...  No!  So, I asked if they had the results back yet...  The receptionist gave a strange pause (started to say something and stopped)...  Then, she told me I had to wait for a nurse to call me back...  I'm not gonna lie -- she scared the crap out of me by doing that...  A nurse finally called me at 7:30pm (WTF?!?), and had good news...  The test for HPV was negative...  She said that I could come in for another pap if I wanted, but I said that was okay...  If the doctor isn't requesting me to come back, I trust his judgment...   It was just a bit scary, since my mom tested positive for HPV and ended up having cervical cancer (not long ago)...  So, yeah...  I am just a little bit relieved about that...  Later days...