33 posts tagged “friends”

So, there has been a lot going on lately...  And I keep thinking that I need to post things, but I don't ever get around to it...  For this reason, I have decided that I will do a mash-up post...  It may end up really confusing and a bit bi-polar, but y'all should probably expect things like that from me anyway!  Teeheehee...  Where to start?!? 

Oh!  I went back to my therapist for the first time since my surgery...  She was shocked to see me up and mobile...  Happy to hear that everything went so well, but amazed that I was already back to "normal"... I told her that I was doing great physically, but that I was having a rougher time, emotionally, than I would like...  I told her about the fact that none of my family came to visit me and how hurt I was that they didn't think it was important enough to make time to come and see me...  My therapist apologized that she didn't think to discuss my "post-op expectations" ahead of time, since she would have recommended that I tell my family, up front, about my desire for their presence...  Since she knew that I had "an amazing husband and a great support base of friends," she didn't even think twice about how I should deal with my family...  Oops!  She said that they might have thought less of my surgery because it was a "female problem," and many people make light of surgeries like that or just plain get weirded out by it and try to avoid the person on whom the surgery was conducted...  She said that it didn't excuse their behavior but that it could be one possible explanation for my dad avoiding me, at least...  Kinda makes sense, but it still sucks...  So, then, I told my therapist about the e-mail that I sent my dad and asked whether it was appropriate to ask him, flat out, whether he received the message or if my mom may have deleted it before he saw it...  She wanted to know how I knew that my mom read it, even, so I told her how my mom replied to me -- "Sorry I couldn't be there for you.  I love you, Mom"...  That was, literally, the entire response...  My therapist was all like, "So your mom gets this e-mail where you pour your heart out and say how hurt you were by their ambivilence after you had major surgery and she WRITES A FREAKIN' E-MAIL instead of picking up the phone, immediately, and calling to apologize?!?  That is just plain unacceptable!  It's crap!"  I asked, "So it doesn't mean that I am a self-centered brat because I was so upset about everything, including her minimal response?"  In her opinion, "Not at all."  I am so glad to hear it from a professional...  She thinks I need to re-evaluate my relationship with the members of my family... She said that I should re-adjust my expectations and re-think the ways that I will interact with/respond to them...  Basically, I should stop counting on them for anything at all, I should stop inviting them over if they never take me up on offers anyhow, and I should stop bending over backwards to help them [with computer problems, for example] or to come and visit them when they ask...  It seemed a little harsh at first, but it will certainly stop setting me up for disappointment all the time...  We shall see...

Easter got even more interesting, btw... Right after my therapist and I finished discussing my family dynamic, and how I should go about making it less distressing to me, I returned a "missed call" from my mother...  I don't remember if it was immediate or not (although I think it was), but my mom started in on asking why the Easter Bunny doesn't come to our house...  I tried explaining it as well as I could, but I am sure I sounded like an idiot because I was blind-sided with the question...  I got into the fact that we don't make a big deal out of Santa or the Easter Bunny partially because we would rather not focus on that aspect of either holiday...  I also explained that Christmas and Easter are religious holidays which are attached to a religion we no longer "practice" and that making a big deal out of a holiday for a religion we don't practice seems a bit hypocritical, even though the holidays have become largely secularized (is that a word?)...  I explained that Clark and I discussed holiday celebrations and traditions at length -- with each other and with friends who became parents around the same time -- and that we made a conscious decision to make the holidays more about family togetherness, goodwill, etc...  My mom's response?!?  ::choking back tears:: "Didn't you enjoy Christmas and Easter when you were a little girl?"  WTF, dude?  I wanted to scream into the phone, "THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!  NOT EVERYTHING IS ALL ABOUT YOU!"  Although, truth be told, there is that whole "you traumatized my sister and me" when we found out the truth about Santa, et al in 1987...  Yeah -- I guess it's a bad sign when you remember the year it went down...  But, still...  It is not so much about wanting things to be different from when we grew up...  It is more about doing things the way that we are most comfortable; the way that we feel right doing them...  I get that she may not understand it, but I am not sure she realizes that her opinions and methods need not apply...  I told Clark that it was oh so tempting to start rattling off a list of things I do differently, but I didn't want to be a vindictive bitch by spouting off the fact that -- in addition to changing the Christmas and Easter traditions of my childhood -- I have also "chosen not to (1) engage in corporal punishment, (2) contribute to my child's asthma by smoking [at all, let alone in the house and the car with my child present], (3) partake in illegal substances in front of my child, or, especially, (4) put expensive habits of smoking and substance abuse above the other financial obligations of my family so much so that my husband and child[ren] have to sacrifice both luxuries and necessities."  I'm just sayin!  I guess I am just a damn show-off with my whole not smoking and doing drugs thing...  Whatever...

Now, on to more fun/funny/happy stuff (before the depressing stuff makes me want to stab my own eyes out)...

The other night, at dinner, I was drinking grape juice...  Since Boogie hadn't had much milk that day, we tried to hide it from him by pouring my juice into a purple cup...  He instantly recognized it as juice and started asking if it was juice...  I didn't want to lie, but I also didn't want him to start asking for a sip, so I just said not to worry about what I was drinking and to drink his milk...  He then asked if that meant it was "actually soda"...  I repeated my earlier noncommittal reply...  When he asked, yet again, what was in my drink Clark replied, "It's mommy's drink.  You can't have any.  Please drink your own drink."  Boogie's eyes lit up with a gleam of recognition, and he asked, "Oh!  Is it a margarita?"  Umm...  Yeah...  That didn't make me sound like an alcoholic or anything!  Geesh...  After we stopped laughing so hard, we explained that it was NOT a margarita and that he was right when he had first guessed that it was juice...  We also reiterated the fact that we are the adults/parents and do not always owe him an explanation and reminded him to just drink the [damn] milk!  Teeheehee...

On Wednesday, Clark and I both had the day off...  I had already scheduled Boogie's 4-year-old birthday portraits for that morning, and we didn't have plans to go see a movie or anything, so we decided to keep Boogie out of school and have a "family fun day"...  We got his pictures taken, took him to get his traditional summer mohawk, brought him to the library so he could pick out his own stories, took him to lunch, brought him to a museum/planetarium, took him to a playground that was near that museum/planetarium, and then went out to dinner...  It was exhausting, but it was a really fun day...  For pictures of the 'hawk and the trip to the playground, go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/jewjewbee/sets/72157616837835541/...

Flower has started to tell people that she will be having a baby in December...  Eeeeeeeeee!!!  I am so super excited for her -- and happy to live vicariously through another pregnant friend as I hope and pray that I will be able to have another baby someday...  Since my "bad" (read: worse) ovary was removed, it may be less difficult to conceive another baby...  One can only hope!  In order to help Mother Nature, I have invited Murphy along...  Murphy who?!?  Murphy as in "Murphy's Law"...  As in, I gave all of my maternity clothes and baby furniture to Flower, so [of course] I should end up needing them before she would be done with them...  Teeheehee...  I would be more than happy to get new stuff if it meant having another baby, though...  We will see...  There's no guarantee either way, so I will just have to try to kepe myself from getting too optimistic or pessimistic...  Keeping an open mind -- and making an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist -- will have to do for now...

And, since this post is so long that my fingers are getting tired, I am thinking I should probably wrap things up and just write more another day...  Congrats if you made it all the way to the end of the post...  You definitely deserve a cookie or something...  Teeheehee...  Later days!

It's so sad to think this is already our last day in Tennessee...  We have had a great time, and we still have a few more hours of fun left, but I will be back in the icy northeast before long...  Ugh!  Later days...

Keltia and her brood have moved to Tennessee...  And, while we miss them terribly, we know that this move is really what their family needed to do right now...  I can't believe we haven't seen them since September...  (It's crazy how time seems to fly even more once you become a parent)...  Luckily, Clark and I have vacation time that we can add on to our New Year's Day off, and we are heading down for a visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It will be so good to see them all -- and we will even get to be there for LittleBro's birthday!  Of course, "taking this trip" means driving about 14 hours each way...  But, we think it's worth it...  Plus, Clark bought me a GPS for Christmas, which will make it much easier to find a rest stop, food, or a hotel along the way...  Now, I only need to pray that Boogie and the weather don't conspire to make this the trip from Hell...  (eek!)...  Later days...

Sometimes it's really hard to balance all of the different aspects of my life... Trying to be a good mother, good wife, good librarian, and good friend can sometimes feel like a battle of importance...  Sometimes I just have to put something before something else; even if it is really hard to choose between them, I still have to make a choice... This afternoon, I was kind of let down by the fact that I made a choice and had it thrown in my face...  I had a very important work meeting that I blew off to go out to lunch with one of my best friends...  Even though I already saw her yesterday, even though it meant delaying my whole family's lunch and skipping my son's nap for the second day in a row, and even though going out to lunch meant missing a chance to meet one of the top three candidates in line for the job as our new library director, I thought that going out for one of my best friend's birthdays should be the top priority...  When we showed up, though, that friend was not there...  When Clark called to see how close they were to arriving, we found out they hadn't even left yet...  Worst of all was the fact that it was now too late for me to make it to the work function...  We ate lunch as quickly as we could and headed over to the library to see if I could catch the tail end of the meeting...  Everyone just looked at me like I was an idiot when I came rushing in and everything was done already...  I honestly think I may have made a worse impression by showing up late than if I hadn't shown up at all -- but I really wanted to be there...  I know it is hard for childless people to comprehend how difficult small children can make life, but I really thought this person got it...  She knew that we already had to get find sitter last night so we could go to the party and that we would have our child today...  I thought she would know that 2pm was not the best time for us to meet her out, but maybe I assume too much on that point...  I don't know...  Maybe I am making a mountain out of a molehill...  All I know is that now I am feeling torn...  Do I try to just get over it or do I make a big deal about things?  Do I just trust the plans that we try to make next time, or do I need to be annoyingly clear when we make them?  Do I re-prioritize the next time this person tries to make plans with me, or do I keep her at the top of the list?  I just don't know what to think...  Bah...  Later days...

Tonight, I am having a night out with some of my librarian friends -- Nice and I decided to call our group the "League of Lame Librarians"...  I know it's lame -- hell, that's in the name!  But that's the point...  We are lame, in the opinions of some people, but we have fun with each other and that is all that matters...  We know that we are definitely going out to eat, but we are not even sure where...  Doesn't matter...  I had an awesome dinner out with Clark last night, and I will even be watching a movie and spending the night at Nice's house tonight...  This is definitely a much-needed, much-welcomed break from "reality"...  Later days...

Be honest! Copy from here, and then answer the questions in a comment and re-post the EMPTY questions in your own journal.

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose?

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Meme time...
YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, and I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine ... You're on my list, so I want to know you better!

Later days...

I feel like I have not hung out with Keltia and Gaia in sooooo long...  I guess it has been a long time, but I am not even sure of the last time I saw them (is that because I am too old or because it has just been too long?!?)...  This morning, I called them both to invite them over to hang out...  Keltia was sleeping still -- her hubby was being very nice and taking care of the kiddos so she could -- but I am guessing that his desire to come over will not be shot down when he asks her for her opinion...  Gaia is happy to be coming over in a little while, and I am thrilled that I will get to see my friends while Boogie gets a chance to play with his...  Boogie, Woogie, Big Sis and Little Bro are so cute together...  I will have to remember to take a few pictures...  Later days...

A friend from the library had a baby, and I was somewhat of a "pregnancy mentor" for her...  Yesterday, I went over to her house because she was having trouble breastfeeding...  I am not a professional, by any means, by I did breastfeed my own child and experienced some of the same issues she is having...  I was thrilled when I was actually able to help her...  Apparently, the baby was latching on wrong (like Boogie had) on the side where his mama had to go against her "right-handedness" (like me)...  It is definitely much easier to get a baby latched on with the hand you are used to using, but it's not impossible the other way...  You just have to know a couple of tricks and be willing to un-latch and re-latch the baby as many times as it takes to get it right...  Luckily for this mama, it only took one re-latch...  You should have seen the look in her eyes when I got him to latch on correctly!  She was like, "Wow!  That doesn't hurt!"  Thank goodness...  It was all I could think of as a problem (from what I saw when she tried to do it first) and I know she really wants to succeed at breastfeeding, so I am glad that she now feels confident that she can do it...  What shocks me more than anything is the fact that she was unable to get a lactation consultant or a La Leche League "leader" to come to her house... WTF?!?  People who are dedicated to breastfeeding should be considerate enough to make a home visit for a mama who is recovering from a c-section...  It gave me a good excuse to go and meet the baby (and check in on mama and dada), though, so I guess everything must happen for a reason...  Monday, after work, I will be stopping by to drop off a Boppy pillow (I could not believe she doesn't have one!) and my nursing bra -- so she can see the kind of bra that actually worked for me (after I spent months with other nursing bras that sucked)...  Man, I hope she will really take me up on the offer to call me anytime she needs help...  I only knew to call her this time because her hubby posted about it on their baby's livejournal...  :::sigh::  ...  Later days...

Believe it or not, Boogie did pretty well two days in a row without a nap...  Granted, he went to bed a little too early and got up a little too early this morning...  But, he was extremely well-behaved for being around so many people and having less sleep than he should...  Yesterday was the birthday party for Big Sis and Little Bro (Keltia's kids)...  Today, we spent time hanging out with Hawaiian Mama and her X-men...  I cannot believe how big Wolverine is -- or how much Professor X looks like his mama...  Clark really enjoyed hanging out with Hawaiian Daddy too, and I know he too would love it if these guys all moved back to the "mainland" sometime soon...  Hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year's Eve tomorrow...  Later days...

So, Boogie and I are heading over to Goddess' place so he can play with SkyWalker and Princess (not Boogie's cousin -- SkyWalker's little sister)...  Boogie can't wait to go...  He keeps saying that he wants to go now, but Goddess and I already agreed on Boogie and me arriving "11ish"...  Maybe I will call Goddess in a little bit...  I don't know how much longer I can hold Boogie at bay without a meltdown...  Bah!  Later days...