15 posts tagged “sad”

So, I know that speculating about famous people is one of the biggest things in America right now, and I typically judge people for following such stories so closely, but something inexplicable has me locked in to the Britney Spears saga...  I just read the saddest thing ever -- http://www.usmagazine.com/read_lynne_spears_entire_declaration_here...  If this is true, it explains a hell of a lot...  I just wish that this would all end, Britney would get back to "normal" again, and her kids would get to spend some time with their mom instead of the paparazzi...  Later days...

I have never before seen Clark in so much pain...  He threw his back out this afternoon, and it is so bad that he cannot sit up, stand up, walk, or turn over on his side [in bed] without a huge struggle...  I know it can be frustrating to hurt yourself, and it can be embarrassing to need someone to help you with tasks that are normally "easy"...  But, still, I wish he would let me help him more...  Or, maybe I just wish there was some was I could be capable of helping him right now...  It's almost as bad as when Boogie is sick...  The difference being, of course, that Clark understands what is going on, so I don't have to worry about him being both confused and feeling yucky...  Bah...  Later days...

So, I had this pair of awesome pink gloves...  They were longer than usual -- went right up into my coat sleeves, so there was never any icy-wrist business when I was clearing off my car in the wintertime...  I say "had," nevertheless, because I lost them tonight...  I am not sure whether it was when I took them off to warm my hand by the fire at the farm we visited or if it was when we went to dinner at Friday's...  Why am I so sad about a pair of gloves?!?  Bah...  Later days...

I don't know if there are many (normal) things in this world worse than seeing your child sick and not being able to make them better immediately...  Forget about the fact that I am tired from being up multiple times in the middle of the night for the last few nights; I have a broken heart from listening to Boogie cough non-stop from 3-4(ish) this morning...  Poor kiddo!  I sure hope the cough syrup does its job soon...  I would hate for him to miss his first ever field trip (to the apple orchard) on Tuesday...  OK -- my 10 minute break is over...  Back to work...  Later days...

I was already feeling blue, yet I decided that last night would be a good time to finish an ARC entitled Before I Die...  Jenny Downham is an amazing writer, and the story is amazing -- but it probably wasn't something I should have read last night...  I was sobbing by the time I finished the book, and it didn't stop when I put the book away...  Clark was already asleep, but he woke up enough to give me kisses and then cuddled up to me to try and calm me down...  After about 20 minutes, I finally did stop crying...  Man alive...  I routinely make poor decisions such as this, and I am not sure if I am just "special" or if I am a glutton for punishment...  But, yeah...  If you like a real tear-jerker, this is a great book for you...  Later days...

Even if you don't believe in God, you must believe in something...  And regardless of your beliefs, I would like to ask a favor of you...  Tracy, a girl I knew in high school (who is still friends with my sister), has a baby in the ICU...  She doesn't know exactly what happened, but she was contacted by a neighbor, who luckily knew where she worked, and was told to go home...  Why?  Her boyfriend had been "shouting at the [2-month-old] baby for a couple of hours and the baby [wouldn't] stop crying"...  The neighbor was calling more because she was annoyed by the noise than because she was worried about the baby, which pisses me off all the more...  WTF didn't this neighbor call the police?!?  But, anyway...  After Tracy got home, she didn't think the baby "looked right," and suggested bringing the baby to the doctor...  Her boyfriend got angry and said the baby didn't need a doctor...  When she insisted, he stormed out and took off...  At the doctor's office, one of the nurses noticed that the baby's face was uneven when he cried and that his soft spot was swollen...  They sent Tracy and the baby to the ER...  At the ER, they did a CAT scan and discovered that the baby had a fractured skull, brain hemoraging, was blind in both eyes, and needed a shunt in his skull to release some of the pressure...  They don't know if he will have permanent brain damage, whether he will ever regain his eyesight [since the blindness could, hopefully, be related to the pressure of the brain hemorage], or if he has even fully escaped the possibility of death...  Tracy is, understandably, beside herself...  She has been with this guy for *years* and he has never shown any violent tendencies, so she is having a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea that he did this to their son -- though she does not deny that it was his doing...  She asked [at the ER] if there was any chance this could have happened because he set the baby down too hard on the couch [which has a wooden frame of some sort]...  They said that there was no chance...  Basically, he had to have hit the baby's head off of something...  Tracy has quit her job and moved back in with her mom so she can stay all day in the ICU with her son...  I have no concept of how helpless and depressed she must feel...  Please pray for Tracy and her son...  Thank you...  Later days...

So, I had a lot of dreams about the wake we attended last night...  First of all, it was so weird because I hadn't really accepted the fact that she was dead yet...  Obviously, since I literally thought to myself, "Well, it doesn't matter that we are early, I will just talk library stuff with [Mentor] for a few minutes."   Ummm...  No...  One really cool thing was when I spoke to her husband...  I quickly explained who I was, since I wasn't sure if he had a clue, and then I told him that I could not have made it through my first summer as a YA librarian without Mentor's guidance...  He said that she talked about me often, and my heart skipped a beat...  I knew that she was friendly and all, but I just thought she was putting up with the little "freshman" librarian...  The fact that she mentioned me "often" means a lot to me...  She wasn't just being friendly in person...  I honestly do care (a lot) about what people -- especially people I admire -- think of me...  I don't think that will ever go away, but thankfully I no longer care enough to try and change who I am...  That's something, right?  TheRic (formerly Bossman) was there, and he was freaking out about dying too -- since Mentor was only 45 and had no apparent health problems -- but I just reminded him that he needs to stop freaking out and just live...  I tried to convince him that the "it comes in threes" thing was only superstition as well...  I don't knwo how well I did, but let's hope that he slept better than me last night...  I think what really got to me was the fact that Boogie kept asking, "Guwl sweepin?" (Is that girl sleeping?) in his innocent little voice with such a concerned face...  Clark took him outside to play while TheRic and I talked a few more minutes and said another prayer (or at least I did)...  I don't like to think about dying, in general, but seeing her sons last night made it that much harder for me...  One of my dreams last night was "looking down" at my own wake (even thought I will be having a memorial service instead of a wake and funeral, since I will be donating my body to medical science)...  It was so terribly sad to see Clark and [teen-aged] Boogie crying...  My dad was there too, and he was a wreck..  I don't recall my mom being there, but I'm sure that is just a reflection of how "involved" she has always been in my life...  Man, if there's one thing I hate more than being tired, it's waking up tired after a lot of sad dreams...  Better get upstairs and get Boogie and me ready to go, though...  Time waits for no woman...  Later days...

I just found out, yesterday, that an acquaintance/colleague/mentor of mine died in her sleep Wednesday night...  I taught her kids at the high school where I use to work and attended the same church as her since Clark, Boogie, and I switched congregations...  She is the reason I had such great ideas, and therefore such great attendance, this year for the YA SRP...  I always enjoyed "talking shop" with her, and we could also talk very easily on a personal level...  It's going to be very weird not seeing her around at church or at library conferences anymore...  I am trying to find an obituary so I can attend the wake or memorial service (whichever they choose to have), but I can't seem to find anything yet...  Bah...  All I know is that tonight, when I go out with my co-workers, I'm drinking one for her... Later days...

I have finished reading the final installment of Harry Potter...  As I sit here crying, I reflect upon how it feels so much like a friend has died...  I will miss the excitement of an upcoming release, the crazy lengths to which I have had to go in order to avoid spoilers, and the endless debates with friends (especially Uncle Ninja) over the character of Severus Snape...  That being said, I still hope that the rest of the world respects JK Rowling's wishes to STFU about what happens so that other people can experience this closure for themselves as well...  If you "knew" Harry, my sympathies are with you...  But I offer this small bit of hope -- Rowling never said she would not write prequels or further adventures with other characters; she only said that she would stop writing about Harry, right?!?  Later days...

If you are having a hard enough time with life that you are considering hurting yourself and/or your children, please get professional help...  I never want to read another story like this again...  And, I'm sorry, but I don't think "insanity" is a reasonable defense for murdering your children -- because you would HAVE to be insane to murder your children...  Later days...