10 posts tagged “update”
I am sooooo done messing around with Flickr today... I uploaded a shit-ton of old pictures... They are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jewjewbee/sets/ if you want to check them out... You have to scroll down to the bottom of the sets to see most of what I uploaded today, though, since I am trying to keep things in chronological order... Or, I suppose you could just check out the photostream http://www.flickr.com/photos/jewjewbee/... Whatever works! Later days...
Facebook... Vox... All sites I have been wanting to update but not really getting to lately... In "real life," I am getting caught up on laundry and dishes and finding time to just plop on the couch when I am feeling crappy, and I find that those things are a bit more important than having all of my internet ducks in a row... I just don't seem to have much energy for anything above and beyond subsistance living lately... A lot of well-meaning people at work keep saying that I will probably feel better soon, but I know I probably won't... I try to tell them that, while attempting not to sound whiny, bitchy, or overly negative, but there are only so many times that you can remind people that you required "anti-puking" meds for your entire pregnancy last time and are trying not to foolishly expect a better outcome this time around... Sure, I can be hopeful... But I don't want to be unrealistic either... It's tough, though, since I am sure they don't really know what else to say... It's tempting to just pretend everything is peachy keen, but it's a little obvious that you're lying if you say, "Things are great!" as you walk in all pale and chalky grey first thing in the morning... You know?!? I won't have Princess at the library today, so that should make things a little easier... I can't handle her being up my ass all day, and she is so painfully shy that I just want to shake her sometimes... But, I can understand how being holed up with your family all the time instead of ever getting out would do that to a kid... Man, I hope bringing Boogie all over with us will pay off in that respect... We try, you know?!? Sigh... Better get going now if I want to try and get a new pair of black shoes (the old ones are ripping apart) before work today... Later days...
As in one, single baby that is growing and thriving in my belly! Clark and Boogie were both with me as I saw the baby for the first time, saw its tiny heart beating, and even heard the heartbeat! They didn't listen to a heartbeat when I had the first ultrasound for Boogie, so that was an amazing surprise... The PA said that I am due on February 15th -- I was so close with my estimated due date of February 16th! She said that everything looked as good as can be, and she even gave the OK to stop taking the Prometrium (the progesterone pill that may be making my nausea even worse than it would have been on its own)... While it is nice to have hope that my nausea will soon subdue a bit more, my stomach certainly didn't get the message... I barely made it through dinner before I had to go an lie down (slightly elevated, of course!) on the couch... I plan on taking it easy tomorrow morning before Boogie's first trip to the dentist, but then I have a night full of activity at the library... Let's hope the baby behaves itself! Later days...
So, there has been a lot going on lately... And I keep thinking that I need to post things, but I don't ever get around to it... For this reason, I have decided that I will do a mash-up post... It may end up really confusing and a bit bi-polar, but y'all should probably expect things like that from me anyway! Teeheehee... Where to start?!?
Oh! I went back to my therapist for the first time since my surgery... She was shocked to see me up and mobile... Happy to hear that everything went so well, but amazed that I was already back to "normal"... I told her that I was doing great physically, but that I was having a rougher time, emotionally, than I would like... I told her about the fact that none of my family came to visit me and how hurt I was that they didn't think it was important enough to make time to come and see me... My therapist apologized that she didn't think to discuss my "post-op expectations" ahead of time, since she would have recommended that I tell my family, up front, about my desire for their presence... Since she knew that I had "an amazing husband and a great support base of friends," she didn't even think twice about how I should deal with my family... Oops! She said that they might have thought less of my surgery because it was a "female problem," and many people make light of surgeries like that or just plain get weirded out by it and try to avoid the person on whom the surgery was conducted... She said that it didn't excuse their behavior but that it could be one possible explanation for my dad avoiding me, at least... Kinda makes sense, but it still sucks... So, then, I told my therapist about the e-mail that I sent my dad and asked whether it was appropriate to ask him, flat out, whether he received the message or if my mom may have deleted it before he saw it... She wanted to know how I knew that my mom read it, even, so I told her how my mom replied to me -- "Sorry I couldn't be there for you. I love you, Mom"... That was, literally, the entire response... My therapist was all like, "So your mom gets this e-mail where you pour your heart out and say how hurt you were by their ambivilence after you had major surgery and she WRITES A FREAKIN' E-MAIL instead of picking up the phone, immediately, and calling to apologize?!? That is just plain unacceptable! It's crap!" I asked, "So it doesn't mean that I am a self-centered brat because I was so upset about everything, including her minimal response?" In her opinion, "Not at all." I am so glad to hear it from a professional... She thinks I need to re-evaluate my relationship with the members of my family... She said that I should re-adjust my expectations and re-think the ways that I will interact with/respond to them... Basically, I should stop counting on them for anything at all, I should stop inviting them over if they never take me up on offers anyhow, and I should stop bending over backwards to help them [with computer problems, for example] or to come and visit them when they ask... It seemed a little harsh at first, but it will certainly stop setting me up for disappointment all the time... We shall see...
Easter got even more interesting, btw... Right after my therapist and I finished discussing my family dynamic, and how I should go about making it less distressing to me, I returned a "missed call" from my mother... I don't remember if it was immediate or not (although I think it was), but my mom started in on asking why the Easter Bunny doesn't come to our house... I tried explaining it as well as I could, but I am sure I sounded like an idiot because I was blind-sided with the question... I got into the fact that we don't make a big deal out of Santa or the Easter Bunny partially because we would rather not focus on that aspect of either holiday... I also explained that Christmas and Easter are religious holidays which are attached to a religion we no longer "practice" and that making a big deal out of a holiday for a religion we don't practice seems a bit hypocritical, even though the holidays have become largely secularized (is that a word?)... I explained that Clark and I discussed holiday celebrations and traditions at length -- with each other and with friends who became parents around the same time -- and that we made a conscious decision to make the holidays more about family togetherness, goodwill, etc... My mom's response?!? ::choking back tears:: "Didn't you enjoy Christmas and Easter when you were a little girl?" WTF, dude? I wanted to scream into the phone, "THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU! NOT EVERYTHING IS ALL ABOUT YOU!" Although, truth be told, there is that whole "you traumatized my sister and me" when we found out the truth about Santa, et al in 1987... Yeah -- I guess it's a bad sign when you remember the year it went down... But, still... It is not so much about wanting things to be different from when we grew up... It is more about doing things the way that we are most comfortable; the way that we feel right doing them... I get that she may not understand it, but I am not sure she realizes that her opinions and methods need not apply... I told Clark that it was oh so tempting to start rattling off a list of things I do differently, but I didn't want to be a vindictive bitch by spouting off the fact that -- in addition to changing the Christmas and Easter traditions of my childhood -- I have also "chosen not to (1) engage in corporal punishment, (2) contribute to my child's asthma by smoking [at all, let alone in the house and the car with my child present], (3) partake in illegal substances in front of my child, or, especially, (4) put expensive habits of smoking and substance abuse above the other financial obligations of my family so much so that my husband and child[ren] have to sacrifice both luxuries and necessities." I'm just sayin! I guess I am just a damn show-off with my whole not smoking and doing drugs thing... Whatever...
Now, on to more fun/funny/happy stuff (before the depressing stuff makes me want to stab my own eyes out)...
The other night, at dinner, I was drinking grape juice... Since Boogie hadn't had much milk that day, we tried to hide it from him by pouring my juice into a purple cup... He instantly recognized it as juice and started asking if it was juice... I didn't want to lie, but I also didn't want him to start asking for a sip, so I just said not to worry about what I was drinking and to drink his milk... He then asked if that meant it was "actually soda"... I repeated my earlier noncommittal reply... When he asked, yet again, what was in my drink Clark replied, "It's mommy's drink. You can't have any. Please drink your own drink." Boogie's eyes lit up with a gleam of recognition, and he asked, "Oh! Is it a margarita?" Umm... Yeah... That didn't make me sound like an alcoholic or anything! Geesh... After we stopped laughing so hard, we explained that it was NOT a margarita and that he was right when he had first guessed that it was juice... We also reiterated the fact that we are the adults/parents and do not always owe him an explanation and reminded him to just drink the [damn] milk! Teeheehee...
On Wednesday, Clark and I both had the day off... I had already scheduled Boogie's 4-year-old birthday portraits for that morning, and we didn't have plans to go see a movie or anything, so we decided to keep Boogie out of school and have a "family fun day"... We got his pictures taken, took him to get his traditional summer mohawk, brought him to the library so he could pick out his own stories, took him to lunch, brought him to a museum/planetarium, took him to a playground that was near that museum/planetarium, and then went out to dinner... It was exhausting, but it was a really fun day... For pictures of the 'hawk and the trip to the playground, go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/jewjewbee/sets/72157616837835541/...
Flower has started to tell people that she will be having a baby in December... Eeeeeeeeee!!! I am so super excited for her -- and happy to live vicariously through another pregnant friend as I hope and pray that I will be able to have another baby someday... Since my "bad" (read: worse) ovary was removed, it may be less difficult to conceive another baby... One can only hope! In order to help Mother Nature, I have invited Murphy along... Murphy who?!? Murphy as in "Murphy's Law"... As in, I gave all of my maternity clothes and baby furniture to Flower, so [of course] I should end up needing them before she would be done with them... Teeheehee... I would be more than happy to get new stuff if it meant having another baby, though... We will see... There's no guarantee either way, so I will just have to try to kepe myself from getting too optimistic or pessimistic... Keeping an open mind -- and making an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist -- will have to do for now...
And, since this post is so long that my fingers are getting tired, I am thinking I should probably wrap things up and just write more another day... Congrats if you made it all the way to the end of the post... You definitely deserve a cookie or something... Teeheehee... Later days!
So, I was just about to post about all of the craptastic things that are going on with all of our bills/accounts, but one slightly more important thing just came up... Boogie is, apparently, missing me terribly tonight... He promised Clark that he had it together and that he would not cry if he got to talk to me on the phone, but he lost it completely when he started to tell me that he wants me at home... :-( ... I felt so terrible having to tell him that I would not be home for another couple of hours, but such is the life of a public librarian, you know?!? Well... Let's get away from the truly depressing and move on to some of the more unbelievably annoying... There are several bills/accounts for which I have a lovely story... Even my therapist said that she practically couldn't believe this "perfect storm" of financial woe... Let's start with the smallest and work our way up, shall we?!?
Phone Company... We used to have a home phone, but they screwed everything up... We signed up for the "One Bill" program so that our home phone, wireless, and DSL would be on one easy bill... Seems simple, but they managed to eff it up really well... First, they screwed up the enrollment in "One Bill" and didn't tell me that it didn't go through... Then, they changed the account to Clark's name so they could try to enroll us again... Once that worked, though, all hell broke loose... Even though I used the most recent account number, they kept crediting my payments to the old (inactive) account number... Did they notice their mistake and work to fix it right away?!? Of course not! They sent me to collections and I had to figure out how the hell they were managing to take my money without crediting the correct account... After a couple more incorrect credits, I decided to cancel the home phone and to get a totally new account number with which to work... That should have been fine, but they forgot to remove the late fee that I didn't deserve AND moved the balance over to the new account, even though they gave me a quote for what I should have needed to pay (sans late fee) in order to bring that account down to a zero balance when I closed it out... Now, they have more than $100 of my money and have even DENIED the refund request that one of their customer service associates submitted for me... As of two days ago, this issue has supposedly been fixed... We shall see...
Oil companies... Last year, our oil company told me that I was not allowed to stop making budget payments even though we were so far ahead that there was no way in hell we would use the rest of our credit by the end of the season... I, basically, told them to screw themselves and that I wasn't paying anymore... I agreed to pay the current market value instead of the locked-in rate if I needed more oil than our budget covered -- but, lo and behold, we still had a credit at the end of the heating season (even after they topped off our tank to prepare us for the next year)... I told them that I wanted to use the rest of our credit to pay for the yearly maintenance and cleaning of the boiler and that I would be going with a new company the next year... All was fine and dandy, or so we thought, until we discovered that their "cleaning" left our boiler less efficient than it had been before... (Thanks NYSERDA for telling us how it really was!) They agreed to come back and re-do their cleaning job, but then they forgot to bring the correct meter with them to check after they were done... We had to schedule another visit, and they ended up coming....... but they billed us for a service call! No effing way, dude! So, Clark fought them on that... But then, a few days later, we received a bill for oil that they delivered... We were all like, "WTF?!?" But, it turns out they did deliver oil... Even though we had told them to eff off, the fact that they cleaned our boiler meant that we were still in their system... So, they came and delivered oil on an auto-delivery basis... That means that the company with which we contracted this year -- and to whom we have been paying our monthly budget plan payments -- was NOT the company that delivered our oil... So, we had to pay this bill AND make our budget payment to the other company for January... If we want to cancel the contract for the 2008-09 heating season, we would have had to pay a $400 cancellation fee (or wait until after today to pay ONLY $200)... So, yeah... We're not cancelling, and we will have to wait until the end of the heating season to get all of that money back... Gah! Needless to say, I don't think we will be "locking in" with anyone anymore... With how little oil we actually go through in a season, it just seems like such a hassle to have to over-pay and then wait to get our money back (since they base their budgets on 400 gallons and we don't use even close to that much in one season)...
Windows and Siding... Well, they can't find us a lender that will cover 100% of the needed funds... They also can't find us anything close to the rate that we were supposed to have locked into... They thought it would be some sort of consolation to tell us that the woman who screwed up our account no longer works there, and that she screwed up some other people's accounts too... Umm... No! That just pisses me off even more to think that this was not an isolated incident... Some idiot was too busy painting her nails and checking her personal e-mail, so she somehow forgot to send in several clients' final paperwork to the bank? How the hell do you remember to send people's paperwork in to the NYSERDA inspectors' offices but not to the bank through which people were supposed to be financing their home-improvement projects?!? I contacted a lawyer, and she said that it definitely sounds like we could sue these people for all of the problems they have caused.......... but a lawyer would most likely require us to pay up front for a county case such as this (the money involved is several times more than a small claims court would allow)... Since it's not a "slam-dunk" case, the lawyer would not count on getting paid "when we won"... She thinks it is likely that such a large company would be able to spin it enough to make it look like we were somehow at fault and that we would end up incurring not only the money for the project but also $20,000-$40,000 in legal fees... Aaaagghhhhh!!!!!!!!!! So, we have two options now... We can try and bluff -- sending a letter to the corporate offices, threatening litigation if they do not give us a satisfactory means by which to solve the problem -- or we can just go straight to the bank to take our chances on a personal loan... I think we may as well try and bluff, and then we can always fall onto Plan B if they refuse to try and work it out with us... My therapist thinks we should probably have a lawyer craft the letter, since a letter from a lawyer is infinitely more fear-inducing than a letter from a pissed-off client... But, that would mean probably paying a couple hundred dollars for a damn letter... Grrrrr... And, to top it all off, we have already received a "welcome packet" from one of the banks the siding/window company went to about alternative financing... So, even though we never signed anything, there was a loan account (with an associated-line-of-credit credit card) that we had to cancel -- and I am afraid that having had that account so recently activated may have impacted our credit rating... Good times!
Beyond the financial nonsense, there is one other troubling thing going on with me right now... The morning that we got back from our trip to Tennessee, I noticed a rather annoying, sharp, stabbing pain in my lower abdomen... It manifested itself when I coughed or sneezed, when I bent over or stretched too far, and also when I tried to pick up anything substantial (like, you know, my kid)... I thought that it would just go away, but it remained for over a week, and even my lazy, procrasting side knew I ought to call my midwife... Since this pain was very similar to my prior experiences with ovarian cysts, and since pain can somehow deflect to other areas of the abdomen even if the cyst truly is on the side, my midwife thinks I have an ovarian cyst and will, consequently, be sending me for an ultrasound late next week... The week after that, I will be going to a follow-up visit with the OB/GYN she is associated with... The pain has already gone away quite significantly, but I know that it is better to be safe than sorry... With the crazy family history of all sorts of cancers, it makes way more sense to check it out instead of assuming that fading pain means all is well and that it was definitely only a cyst... They may even determine that my prescription needs to be adjusted, since I have known other women whose medications caused inflamation of their ovaries and significant increases in cyst development... I guess I will know soon enough, but I really wish I didn't have to go through all this "hurry up and wait" nonsense...
The funniest thing, which my therapist was quick to point out this morning, is that I am still plenty happy right now... I can laugh about the crazy coincidence that this is all happening at once... I can look at everything and know that it will, eventually, come to an end... I can live my life without feeling like I have a dark cloud looming over me and waiting to drench me with even more freezing rain... And all of this in spite of the fact that my therapist and I are more than a month into a regiment of lowering my dose of Prozac! I am sure that having such a wonderful and supportive husband helps a lot... Having so many wonderful friends can't hurt either... But I really think I have turned a corner in my life and that I have learned how to be truly happy... I have a cute little decorative pillow/sign in my room that says, "Happiness is a conscious choice!" And, you know what?!? I think there may be a little bit of truth to that statement... Sure crappy things will always manage to find a way into my life... But I can either fall apart or I can move on with as much grace as I can muster... And I'd like to think that I have learned to be a little more graceful in this past year...... (Now, if only someone could tell that to my clumsy hands and feet!) Later days...
I apologize that I had not uploaded pictures from Christmas and such to my Flickr... After being without my camera for so long (when I sent it out to be fixed), I have gotten out of the habit of updating my pictures... Taking tons of pictures in Tennessee, nevertheless, has led me to realize that I better do something before I am completely overwhelmed by the number of albums I'll need to create... To be honest, I almost quit before I was done today, but I am too damn stubborn for that! Check out my pictures here -- and you'll even have the chance to take a sneak peek at my fresh new haircut (albeit some windy shots from the park)... Later days...
So, it seems that I have downloaded tons of pictures off of my camera without ever thinking to upload them to my Flickr... Such an egregious error cannot go without apology, so I apologize... Check out the new albums at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jewjewbee/sets-- and make sure you sign in to your Flickr account, because there's a "hidden" set of tattoo photos that only my "friends" and "family" can view... (If you're not yet one of my "friends" or "family," you can always add me to your contacts so I can add you too!)... Later days...
I still have my job and all......... But I am getting royally screwed... I knew that I was being forced to work more hours, but I thought that I was also getting a raise as a result... As it turns out, I was supposed to work 2.5 more hours per week and get paid the same exact salary... Not cool... When Nice found out about this yesterday, she told the director, "[Bee] is gonna be pissed!" The director talked to the bookkeeper and one of the board members, and they negotiated something so I would technically have a slightly higher salary -- but be making less per hour than before... While I am not thrilled about this change in salary, I am happy to know that I was important enough that they stretched their budget to keep me from getting pissed and leaving... And, let me tell you, there is one library in particular that would pay me about $5000 more per year, and they are hiring right now... I would not want to go there, but I can see why they would feel threatened enough to do what they could... Later days...
I went in to work really early this morning (11:15 instead of 1pm) so I could leave early to go to the wake for Daisy and Tifflax's dad... It was great to get to see them again, but I hated that it had to be under such horrible circumstances... The worst thing was watching their brother and seeing how depressed he was... Their father had inoperable brain tumors, so they knew it was only a matter of time... Most of the people at the wake recognized that he is now free from the horrible pain he had been experiencing... His 16-year-old son, though, just sat there staring at the coffin... Afraid, it seemed, to look away for even one second -- because these were among the last moments he would ever see his father... Tomorrow is the funeral, and I am able to attend because my daycare lady was nice enough to take Boogie for the day... After Clark gets out of work, we will be getting the boy and going to visit Keltia in the hospital... Although I didn't speak directly with her, I have her hubby's assurances that she is doing well after the procedure this morning... Better get going, though, so I can spend a little time with Clark before the weekend if officially over... Later days...
I can't help but think of Morton's salt when I hear or say the expression, "When it rains, it pours." And, well... It's pouring... It has been literally raining all day, but the crap storm hasn't exactly stopped yet either... Last night, Clark noticed that the headlight on my car is out -- the same one I got a ticket for not too long ago... WTF is wrong with my car?!? That light blew out, then the other one blew out, and now this one is out again... The car also has something strane going on with the oil -- because I have now heard 2 oil changes in a row that it was "overfull" before they started... They only put in 3.5 quarts this time, according to the slip, but the dip stick still looks like it is overfull... All of this is in addition to the fact that the speakers keep cutting out... Bah! I guess I better bring it into the shop soon, huh? What else?!? Oh! I brought Boogie to a local library this morning so we could sign up for storytime... As a librarian, I am feeling rather guilty that my own child has never been to a storytime yet, so I figured I would make am effort in the new year... Guess I should not have bothered... The woman who told me I should sign up for a particular storytime wither didn't pay attention to my answer when she asked hwo old my son was or didn't pay attention to the rules for that storytime -- because I was reprimanded for trying to sign Boogie up today! He is too young (by 4 months), and they looked at me like I was a douchebag for trying to "sneak" him into a session he is not old enough for... Whatever! I figured their own librarian -- former head of their department, might I add -- would know what she was talking about... Silly me! Then, we went to check out and the circulation clerk was very snotty when she told me I could not sign out an audiobook... I am not from their library, but I am from another library in the same system... There is not any restriction on AV materials at the libraries I frequent within my work library system, so I honestly forgot they were so ghey at our new library system... I should not even bother... I am a freakin' librarian -- I should just bring books home with me and not deal with stupid people at other libraries... I would still like to bring my kid to the library, though, so I either have to deal with the new system or bring him in to my work on a day off... Guess it all depends on how much driving I want to do, you know?!? Anyway... The woman was so retarded that she put the audiobook in my bag anyway, so I just have to check and see if it is even on the card... She lectures me and then gives me the thing?!? What an idiot! Teeheehee... On a positive note -- our phone is fixed... It wasn't so much broken as there was a phone off the hook in the basement, though... Yeah... You read correctly... The damn cats knocked the phone off the hook, and I forgot it was even down there, so I did not check it... (The old rotary-style phone was there when we moved in, and I thought it too novel to throw away)... The guy was very cool about it, though... He saw my clingy toddler, the state of disarray in my house, and my near-crying-eyes when he told me the problem was in the house... When he reset things and we saw that it was only a phone off the hook, he said he would put it in the computer as an "external" problem, so I would not have to pay $182 -- $91 for coming and $91 for the 1st 1/2 hour of work... Damn, I lucked out! I believe I told him, "I love you!" when he said that, but I guess I can be a little embarrassed if it means I won't be billed! Teeheehee... So, yeah... Clark just went out to get the right bulb for the car (realized we bought the wrong one last night, despite using the machine thing that tells you what to buy), and my computer is still sick -- though spending 45 minutes on the phone with DELL helped me to at least figure out that my hard drive is fine and I do, in fact, only have a virus (if that is an "only")... All in good time, right?!? I am already feeling a lot better (because of the phone), but I am sure to feel better still by bedtime... Tonight is the first night of my new little "workout club" with Masseuse and Nanny... Hope that works out, because I really could use the time to get in better shape and destress! Better go wake up the boy so we can have dinner before my workout club... Later days...
